Happy Father’s Day

19 Jun

Long before the days of Wal-Mart, in a country besieged by the need to sell things, there arose  a group of CEO’s from companies with names like Black and Decker, Toro, and Craftsman and Hallmark.  Alas says they, we have no Holiday in June capable of luring the serfdom into our lairs.  The time between Memorial Day and Fourth of July is entirely too long for our bottom lines to endure.  We must come up with a reason to keep our coffers full and overflowing.  Upon putting their heads together they realized that the most underserved segment of their kingdom was men.   Weekend retreats on marketing demographics always revealed that this group preferred to send others to the strip mall halls of worship and that many of this group suffered from allergic responses to cash registers.  All be it, their comrades at Budweiser seemed to come up with a different analysis.

Let us declare a new holiday centered on men.  We can get the mothers and children to come in and buy ugly ties for them.  Hence Father’s Day was contrived.  Soon it was discovered that it worked very well.  The fathers stopped buying chain saws for Mother’s Day and this pleased everyone  at Kohl’s and Debrand’s.  Even Best Buy began to notice a great number of XY’s; now-I-have-an-excuse buyers; coming in to buy large ticket items for themselves.  ReMax Realty was pleased because their projections showed that closets would soon fill up with stuff and that this would produce a latent windfall of purchases of larger houses.

OK, that’s not how it happened.  Our Dads are pretty special people and deserving of a day set aside for telling them so.  Thanks to you Dad for being a good provider.  Thanks for sharing hope with my heart through the years.  Thanks especially for the promise of your prayers as we say goodbye for a while.  I will miss your advice on where to get the best deal on gas and the way your eyes light up when we come to visit.

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